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Remember my name

Remember my name. I'm gonna live forever, because I'm gonna learn how to fly. Becasue this is the time of my life.

Tror inte jag tankte igenom hela det har med att borja blogga pa engelska. Det kanns lite ovant fran min sida. Nastan alla mina lasare ar aven dem i Sverige. Sa vad gor man? Skriver pa svenska igen. Kommer sakert ramla in lite engelska far att det ar roligt. Men det blir svenskt framover.

Pa samma satt som det var svenskt forra veckan har hos mig. Svenska kottbullar och traditonell svensk alg skit. Vi hade oss en personalfest som de ar gulliga och annordnar for oss sisadar 1 gang per ar. Det har aret  har vi en fantastiskt vacker huvudkock fran australien som kom med en helt underbar idea om att alla lander skulle lyckas med att bidra till ett stort matfestival buffe bord. For mina vackra medmanniskor harnere fran indien, sri lanka, indonesien, thailand, fillipinerna, maldiverna, bangladesh, nepal och kina blev det ganska latt. Stora grupper, flertalet manniskor fram samma land. Samsas och laga mat. For mig och mina vasterlandska kolleger (som enbart aterfinns i manegementet) blev det lite annorlunda. Vi bestog av en manniska fran australien, (ovannamnde kock), en manniska fran osterrike, (var overste chef), tva manniskor fran tyskland, (varav en lagade maten, han ar andre kock). Vi fyra lander samsades pa ett bord. Lilla Mariell fran sverige som inte har lagat mat pa drgt 1,5 ar, tva hogt upsatta kockar och sa hotellchefen. Snacka om att det var konkurrens pa det bordet. Ett slag som borde ansets forlorat redan innan det ens inletts.

Men jag ger mig inte i forsta taget, jag drog igang och det blev ritkigt lyckat till slut, (300 bollar och 3,5 timmas kokstid senare). Eftersom jag ar en sandar underbart trevlig och omtyckt manniska har sa alskades min mat lika hogt som stjarnkockarnas. Vad kan ga fel med farmors kottbullar och alg skit kulor (mer kanda som chokladbollar eller "weinerbreads"). Tyckte jag var oerhort smart nar jag kom pa likheterna med en hog algskit. Var hogste vackra huvudkock fran australien var lika charmed han ocksa, da han har lite kontakter med svensk matkultur. Mariell ar lika med Succses again.

Fame - I am gonna live forever. Remember my name.

I can not create worldpeace.

Normally I don't blog in english, because normally I see so much flaws in my english while it is written. But I'll give it a try. My computer, my dear little laptop is out of order. I would been amazingly happy if anyone at home would be kind enough and buy one for me, than take next flight down to visit me. I want one with swedish keyboard. And I want a macbook, today I want a yellow one, (yesterday I was more thinking turqouise).But I need my swedish because I write. I write and i write. I love the way i write in swedish. I should be able to write more in english as well and eventually also love the way I write in english. Hopefully.

When I am that far I would be able to go back and finish my failed exams in the English A course I did at the university at home. It is still the essay course I need to get through. If I would be serious about studying again. Lets see.

 

Thats the beauty of future. We never knows what comes. We can trust it. I trust future. What comes may be disasters, it may be dreams. I trust future and what will be will be.

 

Well, what happens here. Again some dramas to keep us busy. I'm keeping myself out of them most of the time. But there is statements going around. People will always talk no matter if there is something to talk about or not. If it isnt they create something. Imagination have been showed up to be very useful while creating an own version of the truth.

I couldnt care less. For me it is a great experience to see how human handle this situations. This caged in a small village situation. This feeling of being a second class citizen behind the guests. Unescapeable. Beautiful in one way. Amazing and admirable. Human behaviourism. Interasting to see male and female relations. Very aware of theese.

I have choosen to close my heart. I have closed it before I arrived here. Like the player guys. I would only let theese people inside I know enough for being sure they treat my heart as it deserved to be treated.  It still doesnt mean I dont have bofriends or hang out with friends. I know I arrived here with myself and I will also leave from here with myself. Of course with friends in facebook, in mails and in skype.

But a brooken heart is not my style. There is no need to fall in love while knowing from the start its not gonna last. While waiting for mr right to find me, there is a lot of right-nows to entertain me. Wohoo for oxtoxin boost.

And considering the fact of me caring for the world. My heart is big enough for the world. I know I will not make the difference for 7 billiards of people. But I have to aim for the stars to reach the top of the roof. I am changing the life for people daily. I make small differences every day by existing and thats were my life gets a meaning. And if I one day will stand up for human rights in a bigger perseptive than make a guest at a five star resort in maldives with a billion dollar account realize there is more happiness in life than buying, (wich i did the other day) than I reach another goal. But i can not change the world. I can not create worldpeace.

But my heart is there every step of my life. My heart is my soul. My heart is there for memories of people. Memories of kissing a bofriend along the spine while he is in the shower. Memories of a boyfriends lips against my heartbeats. Memories of mutual attraction and passion. Memories of fun and how I choosed to experience the world.

I am not getting my heart broken just because I live with passion. I am not getting my heart broken just because I want to make the world a better place.

 

This is how I choose to be.