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Its beginning to look a lot like christmas

Publicerat 2011-12-24 07:41:53 i Everyday life
Well idag ar det julafton.

Tredje julen borta fran hemma. Det ar bara att inse fakta. Jag som ar en lugn person med takt och ton, mattful och balanserad, jag ar tyst och still och det ska mycket till innan jag blir exalterad. Men jag har en last som haller mig fast i ett jarngrepp varje vinter. Nar aret ar slut och snon ligger djup och sladarnas medar slinter, jag vill ha mer jul.

Ja, jag korde ju den visan julen for tva ar sedan, for er som kommer ihag. (kolla mitt otroligt poetiska inlagg har. Eller mitt annu mer poetiska tokinlagg om forra arets jul da jag var konfrancier pa en julfest pa en paradistrand, har . )

Vad ska jag skriva i ar? Vad gor jag i ar? Spat ar ovanligt tyst, sa vi tankte kora en storstadningsdag samt med mycket training. Ikvall ska jag hem till tva vanner, en amerikan och en tunisier. De ar trevliga, helt genuint underbart varma manniskor och i deras forsta klass lagenhet pa strandpromenaden och den konstgjorda lyxadressen the pearl, ar julen hogpyntad. Dar kommer julfesten ga av stapeln som aldrig tidiagre.

Forra aret satt jag med min fina Milja och da bestamde vi att nasta jul ar vi hemma. Blev det sa? Milja ar hemma, men jag ar inte det.

Forra aret var jag sadar tokigt stolt over mig sjalv vad jag har astadkommit, och over det fortroendet manniskor dar visade for mig. I ar har jag klattrat ett steg och har borjat komma dit, mestadels just for att dessa manniskor dar trodde pa mig, och lat mig vaxa. Jag har nu kommit en bit pa vag.

Igar unnade jag mig Hammam och mani-pedi. Hammam kan kallas vid ett traditionellt arabiskt/turkiskt/maroccanskt bad, dar kroppen traditionsenligt forbereddes for brollop. En sorts tvagning. Kroppen skrubbs ganska hansysnlos bort fran dod hud, och nya skimmrande lager framtrader. Kroppen blir ren och mjuk som aldrig forr. Drog omedvetet ihop det till jultvagning, julbad. Till Sverige. Hemma brukade jag tappa upp bubbelbadkaret dagen innan julafton. Har blev det nagot annat. 

Jag har varit ganska rejalt stressad den har julen. Den senaste manaden. Tydliga tecken pa sjukdom har infunnit sig i flera omgangar. Overtydliga tecken pa stress, pa att vara pa vag in i vaggen.
Jag har ju dragit pa mig mitt fosta halvar som chef. Det ar ganska stressgivande. Jobba i mellanosten med arabiska arbetsgivare ar ganska stressgivande ocksa. Men jag forsoker finna frid, forsoker omge mig med manniskor som ger mig varme, lugn och ro. Omge mig med aktiviteter som ger mig varme, lugn och ro. Intalar mig att nasta vecka, nasta vecka blir det battre. Omge mig med spikmatta, visualiering, yoga, meditation och salsa som ger mig lugn och ro. Att skriva ger mig otrolig inre frid (nar jag har tid). Forsoker finna tillbaka till aktiviteter Maldiverna tillat mig att ha tid till.

Hur som helst, jag har val mer eller mindre lagt min julhysteri pa hyllan. Men nasta ar, nasta ar da vill jag vara hemma. Sa aterigen God Jul!, Sverige, Vanner och Familj dar pa andra sidan. Puss.

Direktlänk, 2 Kommentarer



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Anonym

God Jul Mariell

2011-12-24 @ 08:40:50
KSena

Vi saknade dig, det gjorde vi. :-) Vi hoppas verkligen du har en underbar tid därborta, även om den är stressig som fan. ;-) Se till att du tar dig tid att bara vara. Att bara sitta på soffan hemma med en god bok under en filt. Det är värt sin vikt i guld det med. kram

2011-12-26 @ 22:56:57
URL: http://kseenaa.livejournal.com


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