exhaustion - when tennis came back in my life
When I was a kid I was very eager to work out, I did sports for several hours every day in the week. It was handball, tennis and wrestling mainly. We tried out a few other things to, but this sports stayed around for some years. It worked out very well for me to keep up with these sports. I enjoyed the sports a lot. I was committed, motivated and I knew that I would always keep exercising, because there was no other way. I couldn’t imagine the people just stayed at home watching tv after school/work. I mean i couldn’t understand where they used all their energy. This was until i reached around 17-18.
Sports for kids are one thing, when you reach level of seniors its another thing. The competition is getting harder, the pros will be the only ones left. At the same time more responsibility enter the life, with jobs, more demanding educations, relations, driving license. New interests. New focuses. I continued with the wrestling, as long as i was still living in my home town.
Eventually the wrestling was also over. I was at a university in a small neighborhood. The amount of energy decreased with the amount of exercise. The amount of motivation to exercise decreased with the lack of energy. Had entered a bad circle. I stayed there for some time. I became one of those sitting by the tv a while after getting home, since i was so exhausted. This was during my time at the university. it was loads of studying to do. And going to school is quite tireding to, craving a lot of energy. So it happened, i became one of them who i couldn’t understand the behavior and habits of, when i was 14.
During life in maldives i had time to exercise again and i did. But im not a gym person, and it was mainly gym, a little bit only a little bit tennis. It didn’t gave the big encouraging effects as i would have needed. But I value my life and experiences in maldives higher then anything else. I wouldn’t change them for the most fit body in the world.
Now i am in doha, its again another story. I tried with gym, it didn’t work well, again i am not a gym person. Around 2 months ago a french/norweigian guy contacted me and out of the blue suggested tennis. I hadn’t thought of tennis before since i came here, but it suddenly started to shape a plan and a desire inside my head. It took a month and then above guy took me to a tennis session. I was back, this was my old track.
Even though my cardio isn’t what it should be, it mattered less, i was on the track again. Ive found another tennis partner to play with now as well, we work similar timings and it will be a few times a week, and im getting high. The hormones and energy from exercise is addicting. In-between sessions, in combination with lack of sleep and stress at work, im quite exhausted, but i feel the energy coming back into my veins. The addiction, the happy feel good hormones i had as a child!
i have even got involved at some salsa nights, inspired, dancing is what im made to do. So salsa and tennis, that’s my new track. exhaustion - when tennis came back in my life.
I was born and raised this way.
and whats going on
Second blog post in only few hours. Something happened to me. I could have done laundrey, I always seem to have laundrey awaiting me. (maybe its a sign i got to much clothes). But ive done cleaning up a bit.
I hardly lived in my own house for whole april, i stayed in some friends house during their vacation feeding their kitties. Result was that my house ended up a bit messy now when i just moved in again. Work is busy as always.
Ive meet some new friends, they have gotten me into tennis again. The faboulus sport my dad took initiative to teach us when we were kids. Im so grateful for that. It is a very social sport keeping us busy with eachother.
I got a racket, i played once, my cardio pretty much suck, but that isnt the big thing right now. At least I am active again. I have been to the gym a few times too, but im sort of tired of the gym. Always end up sitting at the cardio machines for 2 hours and than stop. Gym isnt really my thing. Tend to be bored there. I believe more in tennis, and swimming which i will get into next week.
I got my neck to fail me big time, 2 days i couldnt move the neck. Knowing whats going on inside the muscle when this happening just made it worse, and right now a nerve have ended up sqeezed, casuing a lot of pain. But I will take some blood, sweat and tears. Go through with the tennis session, increase circulation, get some heat up, stretch afterwards and hoping that the nerve will find its way back by itself.
Im grateful in a new way, I understand my parents. I love the fact that I enjoy tennis. They knew what they were doing, when 12 year old me did not enjoy tennis that much.
I have a dream
I dream of a world of peace. I dream of a world where different cultures are accepted. Where diversity is what we greet. I dream of a world in peace. I dream of a world where every religion is accepted.
I dream of a world where each person is seen as a person, not a tool of someone elses spoiled wellness. I dream of a world where there will be no guns. I dream of a world where nobody is craving for power. I dream of a world where the people with money gives to the people who doesnt have money.
I dream of a world where we are eachothers friends, accepting oneanother for whom oneanother is. I dream of a world in peace. I dream of a world where people will not fight. I dream of a world where we will stop thinking "I know best. "
I dream of a world where everyone is accepted for whom they are. A world without manipulation.
I dream of a world of peace. I dream of a world we are able to change.
I dream of a world where people believe in the sake of being good and not in the reward they think they gonna get at the final judgement day. I believe in the sake of good deeds because its the right human thing to do.
I believe in a world in peace. I believe in a world where everyone is seen as human, I believe in every humans rights.
the power you supplyin is electrifyin
to our hearts we must be true?
"What you wanna prove? lemme show you how to move!" just another way of sayin "hi, i wanna dance with you."
Its a human sign when things go wrong, im englisified. there is a lot i wanna do if i had the time. im planning to get trough my travelling liberary, where my study mate macardle is represented with other books. there is physology, biology, anatomy, the holy quran, there is traditional chinese medicine, there is travelling lecture about sities and countries, a few other religious books, there is a guide to maldives, there is books about marketing, about leadership and about keys to succes, there is some paulocoelho and there is some dan brown and camilla läckberg. there is a kalle och hans vänner firar jul. thats my travell liberary.
when there is love, life begin, over and over again.
seize the day, sieze the night. come what may. love is worth everything we pay.
when positive people is good, we are contagious.
make a wish. go sleep. i will do my acupressure mat, and then hit bed.
patience is my new thing.
I must have been quite optimistic when creating blogs and believeing its easy to run them whe working and trying to keep up a social life as well. Its getting quite hard actually. But patience is my new things. That what drives me.
Patience when it comes to relationship, with work, with traffic, with development. With the blog? We need patience in life. Patience is the key to understanding. Understanding is the key to development. In Doha patience is crucial.
Im used to work with companies where one phonecall is enough and then things gets done. Working here is quite another thing. It takes month to get things fixed. Companies are very slow with submitting quotations and even following up with their potential costumers. Isnt costumer what makes their company work?
I blame this on the low salaries they are paid. This will be a big discussion, and im not going to walk that way. But low salaries means low educated labor, which lead to low skills, and having unhappy costumers, which lead to bad service.
Labor paid low salaries will know that the difference they make from deliver extra service doesnt change much. It makes them more exhausted for nothing. So they will just ignore their potential clients.
There is offcourse the companies who will pay good salaries, deliever good service and follow up their potential costumers. But this companies are more expensive. And the companies that doesnt pay high salaries would never agree on going for firms that are a bit more expensive then the ones that are delivering bad service. Do you see the circle?
Im not going to walk longer down the aisle on that. Patience is my new thing. Following up as a buyer? It gives a lot, it sure is developing. Remember a year ago, im sure I was going to develop at the speed of the new city of mine. I have been. My mind, my ideologies, my thoughts, my skills, my speed.
I let you know a thing. They will buy a bag costing around 20 000 skr and they pay their housemaid 1 500 skr a month. A housemaid putting up a lot of money on a nursing education.
However life in some asian countries is very much cheaper then in western world. But the level of salary the culture have created is covering the every day cost, and then its finished. Savings doesnt exsist. This is the level of salary, and the level of life served to them.
Im not judging, I am not telling this is wrong. I am observing. A part of me wished goverments felt compassion for their people. Giving levels of minumum salaries.
I see every person in this world with the same amount of respect. Or at least i try. But some of the arabs i dont get. I believe amount of compassion decrease in a correlaiton with the increase of a persons money.
But im not bitter, im sweet, juicy and spicy. I dont judge this culture and its people, i only observe, and note it down. Maybe my observations will change, and my opinions.
Well, have patience with me folks at home. I love you. My beautiful aunt, whose birthday was recently. You are my second mom. I love you.
only the pessimist claims "being an optimist doesn't work."
Almost the middle of the night, and the sun made me quite tired, a thunderstorm just happened. Gonna sleep well.
I miss my guy, him who I kissed first time on new years eve.
ive been twitterised
I havent found my blog to be so interesting anymore as i have twitter. Or at least i guess thats the reason.
However life goes on in normal speed. Quite high speed. Today Ive been good, cleaning the apartment, washing 3 machines of clothes. Even cleaned out all the kitchen cabinets. Last time that was done was when mom and dad were visiting.
I ve been inside and home the whole day, and i am happy with that. Many people are so scared of being bored so they will be. They end up runing around feeling sorry for themself because they dont do anything or because they dont meet anyone. But i dare you, why?
Why all this panic? I might think some will easily panic if they are all alone, because they are insecure. Maybe scared of having life running away from them. Maybe scared of not getting confirmations from other people.
However, me, Im happy being alone on my off, washing, cleaning, reading, blogging, watching movies, go to the gym, chatting...sleeping, resting, doing facemasks, body scrubs, hair packings, writing on my book...bored is just not in my vocabulary. I could be home for one week, and still have things to do.
I dont have the big need of getting out and around, i enjoy it, but as where i am now, with my head 3 inches from a solid wall, i get a lot of rest staying home.
Well on coming off, Im going with some friends to a resort here, stay by the poolside and beach, get some tan and have nice day off. Socialize. I enjoy that too.
Well, had a small conversation on twitter yesterday about if we are screwed when we realize we might have made the wrong choises earlier on our road. However, I believe there is no such thing as wrong choices.
Whereever we were, whenever we were there we made a choice, we were still the same persona we are today. At that time during that certain circumstances that choice we made were the best. Thats why we were convinced to take it. And then live with that, maybe it lead us on a really rough road, maybe it gave us hard times, difficult times and a lot of sorrow. But maybe it was meant that way now. Maybe this road lead somewhere else, this experiences made us realize that the choice we did 10 years back might have been unwise, but to realize it, the road did lead somewhere.
Well, that went a bit messy. We can never go back in time and change choices or events, we can just capture the day today and do the best out of today.
Hope ill be back in my blog a bit more often. Catch you than. Would be nice of you to comment those of you who come visiting! dont know if i should bother writting in english however. My english today got effected from some american movies..haha..
puss och kram. I miss my guy, him who woke me up just in time to see the sunrise.
Ive turned 25 again.
Do we remember last year?
I turned 25, in my paradise. Had an amazing birthday with amazing people. I havent still been home since then, so I did 25 one more time. Keeping it on spare until Im home and can celebrate with you guys there. Anyway, Ihad an amazing birthday.
The night before one of my friend, from my paradise in Indian ocean actually, took me out. He is here also. We went eating Mexican. After i had been to the rest room, the chef had arranged me a birthday cake, the girls were singing to me and it was an amazing surprise. That’s how you get wowed.
(Well, it should belong to the story that this chef at the Mexican place is a friend of my friend who took me there, but still, it had me going happy. )
On my birthday I worked, highlighted by hundreds of birthday wishes coming in every 5th minute. Facebook might tend to be a very shallow place, but the birthday wishes there makes a very sweet difference. It is not a big effort done by the friends and contacts there, but it’s just a small message saying, hi, i thought of you for a second, and then you thought of me for a second. Celebrating life.
But there was sms, emails, phone calls and tweets. A very technically celebrated birthday. My cousin, my extra sister, even dedicated one live journal post to me, which brought tears to my eyes. Thank you emma!
At evening time a friend brought me to a bar. We were dancing, drinking cocktails and it was very calm and beautiful.
A few days later we had a party in the house with all the girls as well. Together with one other girls birthday. Had planed roof party, but the winds had other plans for us. It was such a sweet evening with food and songs.
But I miss all of you there, home and I hope I can be home visiting soon, turn 25 once more, laugh with my loved ones in Sverige.
born on different sides of life
i just finished watching one of the top movies ive seen. Eat, Pray, Love.
I admit it, i love it. it makes me happy. it makes me hungry on pizzas from neapels, great italian red wines, sundried tomatoes, parma ham, pasta, fresh heavenly pasta. i get back appetite for food. it makes me inspired to start meditate more regularly, to get up early in the morning, get up on my roof and watch the city wake up beneth me. eat, pray, love makes me open up my heart even more, i love, i love so unconditionally.
i love so many people in this world. people that ive meet, people that have changed my life, people i will never meet again. people im yet to meet. i love people i have in my life now. people that have recently been visiting me, and people that are in sweden.
but i am scared of loosing it. i am a deep person that connects with my mind, believe in my mind, celebrate my mind. find balance in being alive. but im scared of let go of control. i build my it, my balance, on control.
eat, pray, love inspires me. am i on a journey to find my balance? or do i create it myself? i travel the world, i see cultures, meet people. im alone on a different side of life. i belong with the world. i belong with my love.
eat, pray, love might be my story.
sometimes i dont make sense, but out of nonsense and chaos can the brightest happiness and balance be created. amen.
Guidelines.
I normally dont do this, but i ran into a nice story.
-
"Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught
me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come...
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
The world is worrying me
If we are to believe the Mayans, the world as we know it is going to end. It is actually quite cryptic, isn’t it?
I am sure they are right, so much is going on this year. So much things are breaking down, and vantage points for people are actually changing. There is storms in several parts of the world, of my world, in Yemen, Syria, in Maldives.
In petite beautiful Maldives. In my beautiful wonderful Maldives, which i love so unconditionally. The first ever democratically chosen president was forced to resign, and now people are fighting. What seems to be correct there?
And in Syria, i believe in Syria things are worst right now, people are dying as flies. Innocent people, civil people, kids, babies, ladies, boys, men, women. They do not care, they just kill everyone. They switched off the electricity in a hospital and 18 to early born babies died. I saw photoages of a boy who was still alive for 2 days after they shot his mouth off, they cancell all bread and food transportations. And where are the world reactions?
(In sweden they are worried about the discussions to increase retirement age till 75?) So many chose to close their eyes to what happening in the world, since it is to painful to take in. But what if you were there, what if the choice to close your eyes didnt existed?
And there is storms, technically and literarily. The weather is confusing us even more this year. Winter wonderland hit Sweden harder then in years, and it came later then in years. It was very stormy in the beginning of the year?
In Qatar it is sunny and warm, and then it gets cold again, and then warm again. The storms are here. It is time for us to react, and to realize, maybe the Mayans were right, the world as we have before known it to be, is going to end.
neverstop och söndagseftermiddag
Sitter med neverstop brevid mig. Söndagseftermiddag och svenskt godis.
Storheten i detta är magnifikt på ett sätt. Neverstop köpt på IKEA i Saudiarabien. Anyway. Jag trodde ju att jag skulle vara tillbaka på bloggen och skriva mer igen. Det gick ju inte så bra visade det sig. Men jaja, det får komma i den takten det kommer.
I och med att jag skrev på engelska förra inlägget ökade mina läsare hyfsatt bra. Men idag blir det svenskt.
Jag uppskattar väldigt att umgås med folk från asien. Jag uppskattar de mer än att umgås med de arabiska. Människor som jobbar för en lön motsvarande 1000 sek per månad, och har 10-12 timmars arbestdag, 6 dagar i veckan. Människor som lever långt bort från sina familjer, och träffar sina familjer under en månads tid vartannat år. Människor som bor kanske och jobbar för de rika arabiska familjerna, jobbar med ett putsa deras arslen. Jobbar med att uppfostra deras barn, köra deras bilar, vattna gräset på gräsmattan med vatten som kostar mer per månad än vad deras egna lön är.
Jag uppskattar mycket mer att umgås med dessa människor, ta en del av hur de lever, hur de tänker, hur de ser på livet. Mycket mer än att sitta med de snorrika och le och putsa arsel på dem. Det kan nog vara svårt att ta in för vissa. Svårt att forstå, att acceptera och därför väljer vi att blunda. Väljer att följa strömmen och slå ner blicken när vi står i kassan på supermarknaden.
Men sanningen är den att alla människor är just människor. Vi har alla någon som älskar oss och är stolta över den person just vi är. Det är någon som är stolt och älskar killen som står i kassan på supermarknaden. Det är någon som älskar och är stolt över tjejen som matar en skrikande 3 åring med gucci vällingflaska. Det är någon som älskar och är stolt över killen som städar toaletten på ditt kontor.
Det är väldigt många som blundar för just detta fenomen här i mellanösten. Väldigt många som väljer att inte se. Väldigt många som ser människor som verktyg. Väldigt många som köper ett klädesplagg för 10 000 sek och betalar deras hemhjälp 1000 sek per månad. Det är många som inte ser de männskliga rättigheterna att tillhöra de som jobbar för dem.
Sanningen är den, att världen kan bara förändras på ett sätt, genom en kedjereaktion. Likt ett väl byggt nät av dominobrickor.
a different dubai.
Its been a while now, like 3 weeks or so.
This with blogging apparently took a while. But guess I’m saying like the rest of the world. i have had a life this last month. Was visiting Dubai for a mini vacation, then my gorgeous parents once again came by. And offcourse, my work has been (like always) crazy much.
I’ve came to a point where its time for me to restart, get back on track. Would not tell that I am not able to take care of myself, but my parents where here, reminding me of how important I am. Mom did a deep cleaning of my kitchen, and dad helped me with some maintenance issues. We hanged out, and once again, I realized who I am, the Swede, the daughter of my parents.
So here I am, back on track, with gym bag with me to office, proper breakfasts, lunches and dinners. No more soft drinks, no more sugar unless its Swedish candy or if it is ice cream ( but only later on, when its unbearable hot). Back to a lot of fruits and herbal teas, salads, spirulina, grapefruit.
Back on track, restart to make it simple. Sometimes it has been hard to have enough energy to take care of myself, since I haven’t eaten properly, like a bad spiral, which is always coming back. However, the spiral is all old. I’ve done it before, Ill do it again.
Dubai then. Dubai was huge. I spent amazing peaceful days there with a beloved someone. We rested a lot, tanned little bit, went to see some malls, visited local markets from around the globe, in the amazing global village. We had nice food, and we rested. I slept a lot, since I needed it. I woke up the last day to see the sunrise, and it was beautiful. Thank you to my beloved someone for giving me these days of peace.
If interested, have a look at my photos from the trip, here: facebook album link
Well, thanks for reading. I admire the few of you coming here every day, even when im not updating!! Hang in there, im getting back on the horse now.
baksidan av mitt leverne
Många frågar om jag jobbar för ett svenskt företag. Många frågar om det är folk hemma i Sverige som ordnar och grejar med mina jobb, som hjälper mig, och ser till att jag lever efter de svenska "bekvämlighets" reglerna.
Men gissa vad, jag gör inte det. Jag jobar inte för något svenskt företag, jag har ingen arbetsgivning eller fackförening i ryggen. Jag sökte jobb utomlands och fick jobb utomlands. Sedan gjorde jag samma sak igen. Överlevde med min engelska, och anslöt mig till gruppen av expats som de så gott kallas. Anslöt mig till gruppen av människor som jobbar utanför sitt hemland. Och inte enbart då svenskarna som gör det.
Jag var tillräckligt övertygad om att jag skulle iväg, och att jag ville prova de icke silkesvantes vägarna. Det fanns så många. Resorna jag gjort och människorna jag mött har inspirerat mig och format om mig till att bli någon annan.
Min lön är inte särsklit hög, men ibland är erfarenheter, utmaningar, kunskap, upplevelser och utveckling värt så mycket mer. Jag har en ledig dag per vecka, och en månads ledighet per år. Det är ju egentligen överkommligt.
Efter att jag hade varit drygt sex månader på Maldiverna kom mina föräldrar och hälsade på. Då var jag ledig en vecka med dem. Sedan gick ytterliggare sex månader och jag hade tre veckors semester hemma i Sverige. Det var i September 2010.
Sedan flyttade jag tillbaka till Maldiverna, började lägga nya månader av arbete bakom mig. Efter nio månader fick jag ett nytt jobb, och flyttade på mig. Det gick väldigt snabbt i de svängarna så jag hann inte med att vara ledig. Jag steg in på det nya kontoret två dagar efter jag hade haft min sista massage gäst på min paradisö.
Sedan dess gick det i ett igen. Nu har det gått närmare sju månader sedan jag kom hit. Vilket med lite matte betyder att jag har jobbat utan stop i snart 16 månader. Utan ens två dagars helger.
Och gissa vad, jag är van vid det nu. Men det är baksidan med mitt leverne. Det tillsammans med att jag träffar mina kärlekar där hemma alldeles för sällan. Bortsett från det måste jag säga att jag älskar livet jag lever.
Till saken nu då, idag har jag semester. Jobbar halvdag idag, ikväll flyger jag till Dubai, ska möta några vänner där, ha semester i fyra långa dagar! När jag kommer tillbaka, bara timman efter så landar mamma och pappa här i Doha.
Det är sant och en sån där obeskrivlig lycka har infunnit sig just nu. Hela insidan skrattar, till och med djupt därinne i hjärteroten, i magen, i fötterna.
Jag har även fått tillskickat mig en inbjudan till en Gala Award Dinner. För World Travel Awards. Det är ganska stort. Röda mattan och (världs) höjdare inom turism och service, och lilla Mariell (!). Så det kommer bli en bra månad.
Denna obeskrivliga lycka jag känner för att återse mina föräldrar, för att spendera lata dagar i solen och världsmetropolen Dubai, för att bli en del av en stor gala middag. Den stolthet och glädje jag ser med min utvecklig, mina framsteg, mina erfarenheter och all den nya kunskap som kommer till mig väger upp baksidan av mitt leverne.
Baksidan av mitt leverna känns helt plötsligt som en liten svart prick.
Its beginning to look a lot like christmas
Well idag ar det julafton.
Tredje julen borta fran hemma. Det ar bara att inse fakta. Jag som ar en
lugn person med takt och ton, mattful och balanserad, jag ar tyst och still och det ska mycket till innan jag blir exalterad. Men jag har en last som haller mig fast i ett jarngrepp varje vinter. Nar aret ar slut och snon ligger djup och sladarnas medar slinter, jag vill ha mer jul.
Ja, jag korde ju den visan julen for tva ar sedan, for er som kommer ihag. (kolla mitt otroligt poetiska inlagg
har. Eller mitt annu mer poetiska tokinlagg om forra arets jul da jag var konfrancier pa en julfest pa en paradistrand,
har . )
Vad ska jag skriva i ar? Vad gor jag i ar? Spat ar ovanligt tyst, sa vi tankte kora en storstadningsdag samt med mycket training. Ikvall ska jag hem till tva vanner, en amerikan och en tunisier. De ar trevliga, helt genuint underbart varma manniskor och i deras forsta klass lagenhet pa strandpromenaden och den konstgjorda lyxadressen the pearl, ar julen hogpyntad. Dar kommer julfesten ga av stapeln som aldrig tidiagre.
Forra aret satt jag med min fina Milja och da bestamde vi att nasta jul ar vi hemma. Blev det sa? Milja ar hemma, men jag ar inte det.
Forra aret var jag sadar tokigt stolt over mig sjalv vad jag har astadkommit, och over det fortroendet manniskor dar visade for mig. I ar har jag klattrat ett steg och har borjat komma dit, mestadels just for att dessa manniskor dar trodde pa mig, och lat mig vaxa. Jag har nu kommit en bit pa vag.
Igar unnade jag mig Hammam och mani-pedi. Hammam kan kallas vid ett traditionellt arabiskt/turkiskt/maroccanskt bad, dar kroppen traditionsenligt forbereddes for brollop. En sorts tvagning. Kroppen skrubbs ganska hansysnlos bort fran dod hud, och nya skimmrande lager framtrader. Kroppen blir ren och mjuk som aldrig forr. Drog omedvetet ihop det till jultvagning, julbad. Till Sverige. Hemma brukade jag tappa upp bubbelbadkaret dagen innan julafton. Har blev det nagot annat.
Jag har varit ganska rejalt stressad den har julen. Den senaste manaden. Tydliga tecken pa sjukdom har infunnit sig i flera omgangar. Overtydliga tecken pa stress, pa att vara pa vag in i vaggen.
Jag har ju dragit pa mig mitt fosta halvar som chef. Det ar ganska stressgivande. Jobba i mellanosten med arabiska arbetsgivare ar ganska stressgivande ocksa. Men jag forsoker finna frid, forsoker omge mig med manniskor som ger mig varme, lugn och ro. Omge mig med aktiviteter som ger mig varme, lugn och ro. Intalar mig att nasta vecka, nasta vecka blir det battre. Omge mig med spikmatta, visualiering, yoga, meditation och salsa som ger mig lugn och ro. Att skriva ger mig otrolig inre frid (nar jag har tid). Forsoker finna tillbaka till aktiviteter Maldiverna tillat mig att ha tid till.
Hur som helst, jag har val mer eller mindre lagt min julhysteri pa hyllan. Men nasta ar, nasta ar da vill jag vara hemma. Sa aterigen God Jul!, Sverige, Vanner och Familj dar pa andra sidan. Puss.
