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We are therefore we live.

Publicerat 2011-09-30 23:47:40 i Everyday life
Well, where to start.
Speedblogging gick lite långsamt. Jag har ett behov av att återfå balans. Balans i tillvaron. När jag flyttade till Maldiverna tog det drygt 6 månader på plats innan livet kändes normalt. Rent arbetsuppgiftmässigt tar saker lite längre tid. När jag kom dit kände jag mig otillräcklig på flera plan i början. Men när jag lämnade kände jag mig mer än kvalificerad, mer än tillräcklig på flera plan. Uppnått en fantastisk potential.
Nu är jag på ett nytt ställe och samma sak händer här. Har varit här drygt 3 månader, jag har vant mig vid livet, vid kulturen. Har till och med införskaffat mig deras heliga bok, koranen, för att kunna ta mig till och förstå denna religion som majoriteten av världens befolkning tillhör. Blivit lite av en lyxlirare som pimplar >gratis< skumpa på helgerna och går in gratis på nattklubbar. Blir runtkörd med mer eller mindre egen chaufför, har plingilingande från detta ständiga hareem av beundrare från egyptien, argentina, tunisien, jordanien, england, pakistan, qatar i min lilla vackra blackberry.... vart vill jag flytta härnäst?
Rent arbetsmässigt känner jag mig fortfarande för liten. Tog mig an en chansning när det här hände, när jag flyttade hit. När det här livet sådär fint kom till mig. Mitt nya land, min nya arbetsroll, mitt nya liv. Men arbetet går fortfarande tungt. Jag har hållt mig från att printa ner det. Men jag styr skeppet nu, bokstavligen. Det är svårt. Jag hoppade över ett steg på karriärstegen. Långsamt kommer jag framåt. Men såhär i slutet av månader kommer de tunga grejerna, många beslut, rapporteringar, finansiella aktioner, P&L genomgångar, mycket, mycket. Mycket som jag egentligen aldrig har arbetat med förut. Mycket som jag inte har stora aningar om hur det ska gå till. Men jag gör det, jag tar mig igenom hur det ska gå till, och det händer.
Små misstag återkommer, jag glömmer något litet, det utvecklas till något större. Jag har inte varit strikt nog, och tjejerna har varit lite lata av sig. Det utvecklades till något större. Det går långsamt framåt. Men jag ger aldrig upp. Jag gör vad jag ska få gjort, jag försöker på alla tänkbara sätt, vad jag inte vet tar jag reda på. Månad för månad, dag för dag ser jag framsteg och utveckling komma till mig. Ny kunskap och nya möjligheter. Jag jobbar i snitt 55 timmar per vecka och sover i snitt 6.5 timma per natt.
Men jag ger inte upp. Ty den här vägen är skapad för mig. Men jag behöver balans. Ikväll har jag tänt levande ljus och lyssnar på lugn musik. Utanför är det stress, innanför är det harmoni. Jag måste återfå balansen. Ty den som icke innehar balans ramlar lätt. Att ramla har jag inte tid med. Jag står på mina egna ben här långt bort i andra länder på andra sidan. Jag stöttar mig själv, och ramlar jag för mycket är det svårt att inte ge upp. Så balansen måste komma tillbaka. Om jag skulle våga plocka ut någon av de där fem dagarnas ledighet jag fick åt mig för de muslimska nymåne högtiderna som varit nu i dessa tider. Om jag skulle börja somna någon timme tidigare ibland.
We are therefore we live. We live therefor we are.
Direktlänk, 1 Kommentarer



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KSena

Ja, du lever livet du... Men jag förstår om det inte är lätt att vara chef. Du har alltid varit så snäll och haft lätt för att bry dig om andra... Precis som jag. Kan inte vara lätt att vara chef då. Learning by doing är ett bra uttryck och det verkar helt klart som om det är det du gör. Tufft, ja visst. Men har man gjort den där tabben så gör man inte om den. Hang in there, underbara människa. Du är en inspirations-källa! :-D krama om

2011-10-01 @ 11:14:45
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